Criminal Venture, part 2

Abe tried to speak, but only coughed and sputtered. "Answer me already!" Stinky demanded. Bull pointed wordlessly to Stinky's foot, and Stinky realized was still on Abe's larynx. Stinky removed his foot, slightly embarassed.

Abe's diction was a bit labored due to Stinky's size-11 impression on his larynx - but Stinky's face showed no patience for him to heal. Abe squeaked out "It's those guys at the Urban Detox. They're getting some big thing together. No one knows what."

"So why the hell you in our territory, without our money?" said Stinky. "Again."

"I...I figured if I could find them an investor..."

Bull and Stinky looked at each other. "Someone around here has 5 megaclams just to throw around?" Stinky yelled. "And you didn't even tell us about it?"

"Yes! But not give away! Invest." Abe spat, and sat up. "I'd front for the investor. They poney up, I take the risk, and we throw in. When it's done I give 'em back their money plus interest and even pay you back." He wiped some dirt off his sidewalk-pressed suit. "All I gotta do is find a sick bastard to join their crew."

"And where you gonna find the sick bastard?"

"Actually," said Abe, "I was kinda thinking of you."

Stinky stared at him for a second. He laughed. "You got sand, Abe! Me, work for you? I should stamp you flat just for that."

"You could get back all the money I owe you-"

"-which you better give me anyway, if you like breathing-"

"-Plus five times more," said Abe.

That stopped Stinky in his tracks. "Whaddayou think, Bull?"

Bull frowned. "Tough fuckers," he exclaimed. That was almost a speech for Bull.

"Yeah, true," Stinky said. "The Urban Detox crew don't screw around." Urban Detox was a store and meeting place created for new-age urban hipsters. They sold teas and techniques to bless the bad vibes of urban living right out of people's auras. They started up as a small store on Main, and in recent years had exploded across the country. Their gimmicky new-age stuff actually seemed to work - at least for taking out the urban stress. The irony was that their stores were great for people meet up who've had their bad vibes blessed out - they just love to commit crimes.

The Urban Detox crew had liked the chain. They bought into it, and helped spread the chain through all sorts of not-at-all-legal means. The Urban Detox chain was a great investment for any criminal entrepreneurs - a great way to recruity go-getters who weren't do-gooders. They had all been rolling in the dough until the Homeless Brigade got pissed at the disappearing miserable vibes, and decided to swamp the Urban Dextox joints with more crappy vibrations than a bunch of Bay Area investors could be expected to handle. This was called the "Colt war " - not because colt guns were used, but because the Homeless Brigade left empty bottles of colt .45 everywhere they went.

Stinky could have been in on the ground floor as an investor, but he had decided it just wasn't his style. Later as he saw them opening all over the place, he tried to tell himself he didn't regret it.

Yeah. He'd love to get in on the ground floor - and maybe get a little close to those jerks who'd done so well without him.

"Where's our investor?" Stinky asked Abe. The call had been made; Bull turned to Abe as well.

(continued)